Most of what you’ve been taught about leadership is a lie. That might sound extreme, but hear me out. For years, traditional leadership advice has been dressed up as wisdom and handed down from one leader to the next. However, this advice is often little more than a collection of outdated myths that create hesitant, compliance-driven leaders rather than bold, dynamic ones. It’s time to expose these lies, shatter the illusions, and redefine what it means to lead in the modern world.
Lie #1: “Great Leaders Are Born, Not Made”
One of the biggest lies perpetuated in the leadership world is the notion that some people are simply “born leaders.” This idea suggests that leadership is an innate quality, reserved for a select few. If you weren’t born with certain traits—charisma, assertiveness, decisiveness—you might as well forget about leading effectively.
But let’s be real: leadership isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you build. It’s a skill that requires intentional cultivation through experience, learning, and the pursuit of mastery. By clinging to the belief that leadership is innate, you deny yourself the opportunity to grow into the leader you aspire to be.
Quote: “True leadership isn’t about who you are; it’s about what you choose to become.” – Mick Hunt
Lie #2: “Focus on Your ‘Why'”
For the past decade, the concept of focusing on your ‘Why’ has been promoted as the golden rule of leadership. But here’s the problem: ‘Why’ is superficial. It’s catchy and marketable, sure, but it barely scratches the surface of what truly drives you.
Your ‘Why’ is often wrapped in business jargon—profits, growth, market share. It sounds good on paper, but it doesn’t capture the raw, authentic drive behind what you do. That’s where your ‘Because’ comes in. Your ‘Because’ is deeper, more personal. It’s what fuels you to push through obstacles and setbacks. Your ‘Why’ is what you tell others; your ‘Because’ is what you tell yourself when no one’s watching.
Traditional leadership advice often fails here because it doesn’t go deep enough. It leaves leaders chasing surface-level goals without connecting them to a more profound sense of purpose. A ‘Why’ can be forgotten, but a ‘Because’ becomes a part of who you are.
Quote: “Most leaders focus on their ‘Why,’ but the ones who make a lasting impact are driven by their ‘Because.'” – Mick Hunt
Lie #3: “Leaders Lead by Example”
This lie is perhaps the most seductive. Leading by example sounds noble and is often upheld as a leadership gold standard. But it can be misleading. Here’s why: leading by example often translates to self-sacrifice. Leaders feel compelled to set an example by being the hardest worker in the room, constantly putting others’ needs above their own. Over time, this becomes a race to the bottom.
In trying to “lead by example,” leaders often lose themselves. They become passive, always responding to others’ needs instead of setting a vision and driving it forward. Leadership isn’t about being liked or being seen as the ultimate role model. It’s about making tough decisions, setting boundaries, and driving progress—even when it makes you unpopular.
Great leaders do more than just set examples; they set direction. They focus on strategic choices that drive the team and the business forward. While it’s important to exhibit positive behaviors, a leader’s role goes beyond merely modeling. It requires bold actions, risk-taking, and sometimes breaking the mold to achieve greatness.
Quote: “Leadership isn’t about being the hardest worker in the room; it’s about being the boldest thinker in the room.” – Mick Hunt
Lie #4: “Always Listen More Than You Speak”
Here’s another popular piece of advice: “A good leader listens more than they speak.” At first glance, this sounds reasonable. Listening is a crucial skill, after all. But here’s the catch—when taken too far, this advice turns leaders into passive participants rather than active drivers of change.
Listening is essential, but effective leadership requires more than being a sounding board. It demands that you have a vision, communicate it clearly, and sometimes assertively lead the conversation. When you focus too much on listening, you risk losing your voice. You become a people-pleaser, trying to cater to everyone’s opinions without standing firm on your convictions.
There’s a balance here that traditional advice often overlooks. Yes, listen to understand your team, but don’t let it silence your drive to lead. Leadership is not a popularity contest; it’s a path to progress.
Quote: “A leader who listens without speaking loses their direction; a leader who speaks without listening loses their team.” – Mick Hunt
Lie #5: “Leadership Means Being Liked”
In many leadership books, the idea that being liked is a hallmark of good leadership is subtly, or sometimes overtly, promoted. This belief can lead leaders down a dangerous path of compliance, where they avoid making difficult decisions in fear of upsetting others.
True leadership is not about being liked; it’s about being respected. It’s about making the hard calls and standing firm when your values or vision are at stake. Leaders who prioritize likability often end up compromising their principles, leaving their teams confused and directionless.
Respect doesn’t come from being everyone’s friend. It comes from being authentic, courageous, and unwavering in your purpose. When leaders chase likability, they lose the very edge that makes them effective.
Quote: “Leadership isn’t about being liked; it’s about being worthy of respect.” – Mick Hunt
The Truth: Leadership Is About Mastery and Courage
If these lies of traditional leadership are holding you back, what’s the alternative? The truth is that leadership is not a one-size-fits-all journey. It’s about developing mastery and having the courage to break the rules when they no longer serve you.
True leadership requires you to cultivate a growth mindset, continuously working on your skills, and embracing innovation. It’s about having the imagination to think beyond conventional wisdom and the character to stay true to your ‘Because’ even when it goes against the grain.
In the end, modern leadership is about mastery, courage, and the relentless pursuit of your unique path. It’s about moving ferociously in silence, focusing on progress over perception, and redefining the rules on your terms.
Breaking Free: Your Path Forward
So, how do you break free from the lies of traditional leadership? Here are three steps to start your journey:
- Write Your ‘Because Statement’: Move beyond the superficial ‘Why’ and dive deep into your ‘Because.’ What is the fundamental reason you do what you do? Write it down and let it become the compass that guides your decisions.
- Set Boundaries: Stop trying to lead by example if it means sacrificing your vision. Set clear boundaries around your time, energy, and focus. Remember, leadership is not about being the hardest worker; it’s about being the boldest thinker.
- Balance Listening and Leading: Listen to your team, but don’t lose your voice. Be assertive in sharing your vision and direction. Your job as a leader is to create progress, not to appease everyone.
Final Challenge
The traditional leadership model is broken, riddled with lies that keep you in a cycle of compliance and mediocrity. It’s time to break free and define your own path. Leadership is not about fitting into the mold others have created for you; it’s about smashing that mold and forging your own.
Quote: “Great leaders are not the ones who follow the rules; they are the ones who redefine them.” – Mick Hunt
Are you ready to break free from the lies? Your journey to true leadership starts now.
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Photo Credit: Courtesy of Thomas Estey
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