His name was Charlie. Uninvited, he visited my father daily in the last years of his life. Sometimes the two of them were friends. Sometimes the two were enemies. My father would tell us of how they would share drinks, or how Charlie had destroyed the flowers in the garden, kicked him under the table, and stolen the fresh cookies we had just baked. The only thing was, nobody but my father could see Charlie.
Lewy Body Dementia with Parkinson’s was the diagnosis my father received. With this disease, he experienced depression, anxiety, visual hallucinations and delusions, paranoia and many other issues which included fluctuating cognitive decline and attention span.
My father was a jazz singer. We sang together since I was a little girl. As soon as I knew my dad had Lewy body dementia, I immediately incorporated more music into his life to increase his overall wellbeing. Music helped distract my father from the countless unwanted visits from Charlie and his friends. We spoke frequently about his favorite singers which in turn would jog his memory; another form of distraction to help Dad escape his painful new reality.
Sometimes we watched music shows, or listened to my own recordings, especially the two songs we recorded from my first CD, “Unforgettable,” and “Fly Me to the Moon.” I’d say, “Dad, who’s singing?” “That’s me Dolly,” Dad said. We marched around the house for exercise while singing. I started with, “Fly me to the Moon,” Dad followed with, “And let me play among the Stars.” During those times we sang, my father forgot about his disease, his pain, and his new reality for a few minutes. His eyes lit up, he smiled from ear to ear, and he enjoyed every minute of our time together. So did I.
My father had the most gorgeous tone, perfect & relaxed phrasing along with his beautifully articulated lyrics. He was my mentor, my biggest fan. My father gave me many accolades throughout the years along with needed constructive criticism. He came to several shows and he was proud of me for following my dream which coincided with his own dream.
After getting sick with Lewy Body dementia, I thought I lost my dad to this new ugly reality. Music was a lifesaver to our relationship. We were able to communicate, laugh, and enjoy each other on another level, with the spirit of music and its many gifts.
In dads last few weeks he was in the hospital and all the nurses made special trips to visit Dad just to hear him sing. He was sick but still able to sing and move so many with his beautiful voice. In Dad’s last days, he continued to sing with me. When it was time for him to transfer to Heaven, I played our duet we recorded, “Unforgettable” and Dad took his last breath in peace.
I’ll always be indebted to music. While dementia devastated almost every other part of his life, it was unable to touch his love of music. Right until the end, music was a bond between my father and I that was never broken. Whether we were harmonizing in a recording studio, or trading lines of “Fly Me to the Moon” in the hospital room, my father was still my favorite singer and my number one fan.
About DeeAnn DiMeo: Niagara Falls-native, National recording artist, DeeAnn DiMeo has her
roots anchored in gospel, blues/jazz, and soul. In 2019, she was inducted into the Niagara Falls
Music Hall of Fame and has won multiple Buffalo Music awards for Best Female Vocalist. She
has fronted several bands as the lead singer and primary songwriter, receiving airplay across
the country in college and jazz stations with previous projects and currently with her new
album “It’s My Time”
https://www.facebook.com/DeeAnnMusic
https://www.instagram.com/deeann_dimeosings/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/deeann-dimeo-1075b8150/
Photo Credit: Courtesy of DeeAnn
Add Comment