As we celebrate Women’s History Month, we honor the women who are breaking barriers, reshaping narratives, and inspiring future generations. Kerensa Gulliver, an award-winning author, domestic abuse survivor, and advocate for healing, is one of those women.
Her book, It Didn’t Kill Me, is more than a memoir—it’s a testament to resilience, faith, and the power of self-reclamation. Through her deeply personal story, Kerensa has touched the lives of countless women who have faced heartbreak, betrayal, and the challenge of rebuilding their lives after trauma. Now, her journey to empowerment is reaching even more audiences as she is featured in a powerful documentary that sheds light on the path from adversity to triumph.
Kerensa’s story is one of unwavering determination. Born in Guyana, she later immigrated to the U.S., navigating the challenges of a new culture while striving for academic and professional success. Despite struggling with learning disabilities that went undiagnosed until adulthood, she became the first woman in her maternal family to earn both a bachelor’s and master’s degree in social work.
However, her biggest battle wasn’t in the classroom—it was behind closed doors. Kerensa spent over a decade in an abusive marriage, questioning how she found herself in a situation she had once vowed never to tolerate. But through faith, prayer, and self-discovery, she found the strength to leave, heal, and use her experience to help others do the same. “I knew my story had a purpose. If I could survive, then I had a responsibility to help other women know that they could too,” she says.
It Didn’t Kill Me: A Story That Resonates
Her award-winning book, It Didn’t Kill Me, is an authentic and unapologetic look at healing after trauma. In it, she shares her journey with raw honesty, offering readers not just a glimpse into her past but a roadmap to self-empowerment and renewal. The book has earned recognition for its impactful storytelling, faith-based healing approach, and its ability to inspire women from all walks of life.
Beyond her writing, Kerensa’s voice has reached even broader audiences through her feature in a documentary that explores empowerment after adversity. The film highlights stories of resilience, transformation, and the strength of women who have overcome immense challenges, further amplifying her message to those who need it most.
A Legacy of Strength for Women Everywhere
During Women’s History Month, we reflect on the women who have paved the way for change—and those who are actively shaping the future. Kerensa Gulliver stands as a beacon of hope, proving that no setback is final and that every woman has the power to reclaim her story.
Through her work as an author, speaker, and advocate, she continues to encourage women to break cycles, seek healing, and embrace their true potential. “Women’s History Month is a reminder of the warriors who came before us and the ones we are becoming. We are all part of history in the making, and it’s up to us to use our voices to create change,” she says.
With her award-winning book, her feature in a powerful documentary, and her unwavering commitment to empowerment, Kerensa Gulliver is solidifying her place in history—not just as a survivor, but as a leader who is helping women across the world find their strength.
I had a chance to sit down with Kerensa and delve deeper into her thought process, her keys to success, and what motivates her to continue expanding her reach. Her story is a reminder that while trauma may change us, it does not define us. Instead, as Kerensa has proven, it can be the very thing that leads us to our greatest purpose.
Your book, It Didn’t Kill Me, is a deeply personal and powerful testimony of resilience. What was the turning point that made you say, “It’s time to share my story with the world”?
I have always had a passion for inspiring, motivating, and enhancing the lives of others from a young age. But I would ask them not to tell others who helped. I believe this because of fear and self-doubt when I was younger. However, early in 2022, I watched the story David at Sight & Sound, and on my way back home, I recognized that I was similar to him because he loved God and God’s people. I heard within myself, write your story now. So that evening, I sat at the computer and began writing for eight hours straight, and over the next two weeks, I completed my story. While I was married, I began to write another story, and before completing it, I felt something was off. I then realized had I finished my original story, I would have kept others in bondage, meaning I was writing it from a broken and unhealed perspective.
Healing from heartbreak, betrayal, and abuse is a difficult journey. What were some of the most transformative moments in your personal healing process?
The first step I had to recognize in healing was forgiveness. I was working on forgiving others, but I didn’t consider that the first person I needed to forgive was myself. I also had to learn to love myself in all aspects: the good, in-between, and the bad. It was a complicated process because I was not raised in a home where anyone talked about love. I recognized that love meant they cared for you by giving you food and shelter. I had spent many decades pleasing people, thinking people would accept me, not understanding it was destroying my identity. So, as I worked through the people-pleasing stage, I worked on loving myself by saying positive affirmations daily and understanding forgiveness within myself, and I began to heal. After I walked away from the marriage, I began to date myself and still do to date. I had to acknowledge my role in many relationships, whether with friends, family, or marriage. I had to work through the thoughts that I was not a victim, but what inside of me caused me to make the decisions in the roles I played, and that when I had to factor in the demons in my closet, childhood trauma, and abuse. I had to grieve that process and stop masking. I began to strengthen myself by rewriting my story in a journal. Re-writing my story helped me to believe things can be better.
Faith plays a major role in your journey. How did your relationship with God help you rebuild your life after such painful experiences?
I have always believed in God as a child. However, I firmly believe my marriage brought me closer to God, and I have a relationship with Him to date. I was raised Catholic. Over the years, I visited and attended many other church affiliations. However, as a child, I questioned why I needed to go to someone to go to God for me. So, a few times, I would speak to the Lord by myself while I sat in the Catholic Church, not recognizing God wants us to have a relationship with Him. When I tried to commit suicide in 2010, I heard God’s voice, who called me by my name and said, “If I trust Him the way I do for others, I will see.” I had no idea what it meant then, but I began to ask God for forgiveness, praying, and reading God’s word more. During my journey, I began to understand that things are not what they seem, but it was more profound, and the only way for me to survive was I needed to rely on and be obedient to the voice of God to help me navigate the things I didn’t fully understand while in the valley.
As a domestic abuse survivor, what message do you have for women who are currently in toxic or abusive relationships but are afraid to leave?
The message I have for women is that no one will rescue you. You, within yourself, must get to the place where you are tired of being tired. People need to realize that with all resources available, only the person (victim) can choose to live. The truth is that many people are not living; they are just surviving. But to live, you must be willing to make a difficult choice to heal and actively participate in the entire process. You must love, forgive, understand yourself, and learn to take the first step by faith. You need to be courageous, even in fear, and learn to recognize that a better life is in front of you, not behind or in the current unhealthy relationship. You are the author of your story. You have the power to rewrite and grow in future chapters.
Your story also touches on self-discovery and finding inner strength. What advice would you give to those who feel lost after a major life setback?
I would encourage you to have grace with yourself. Oftentimes, we have grace and patience with others and don’t extend the same patience, love, and care to ourselves. A bible verse says to give to others as we give to ourselves. But we often give to others, hoping they will give back to us. We fail to acknowledge we must give to ourselves first. My favorite line is that we cannot change others but ourselves; we cannot give others what we don’t have, and others can give us what they don’t have. Everything is a choice each party has to make. We must understand that we can use our setbacks to build a staircase that goes up or down; the choice is always ours. To build up, we must go through our process and journey. Recognize it, not us against the world or the world against us. Instead, it is us against ourselves on a path and journey of self-discovery, healing, growing, and maturing.
You talk about breaking generational cycles and recognizing the roots of trauma. What are some steps people can take to identify and break free from these cycles in their own lives?
Generational cycles are an issue within our family upbringing and cultures. There are patterns, traits, and values that we keep even when they are dysfunctional. There are traditions. Not everyone will agree with my following statement. But some things are spiritual, and the Holy Spirit must help you. For instance, you might recognize all the women in the family have kids out of wedlock; all the men die at a certain age, everyone lies in the family, most of the women have been victims of childhood abuse, etc. Those things require you to have a relationship with God and, in some cases, the guidance of a man or woman of God who is in a deliverance ministry. However, you must be careful because not everyone in such an office is of God. That is where you will need an independent relationship with God to help lead and direct you to the right person to assist. I read many books, praying, fasting, and reading the word of God to help me in my situation. The key for me was my obedience to God which was crucial. Some books I read were Prayers That Work by Kevin LA. Ewing, Unbroken Cruses by Rebecca Brown MD with Daniel Yoder, and Deliverance from Demonic Covenants and Cruses by Re. James A. Solomon. Change requires us to do something. When we look, we must realize things are not working and be willing to learn new ways. There is a bible verse that says that you cannot pour new wine into an old wineskin because it will burst. Such is true when we are looking at the generation cycle and trauma. Apart from my faith and understanding, I cannot explain what one must do when you don’t believe in God and the things of God. I am only speaking from what worked for me and my faith.
You are an advocate for healing and self-growth. What daily practices or affirmations helped you shift from a place of pain to empowerment?
Some of the daily affirmations I did was to tell myself I am beautiful. I am working on healing. I am working on becoming a better version of myself. I would tell myself that my trauma and hurt don’t define me, but rather, I define it. Throughout the days, as I remember, I would look at myself and compliment myself, like you smell good, look good, etc. There was an exercise I used to do with students and myself: look in a mirror and say something you like about yourself from your face down and why. So, I would say I like or love my legs because it was long, and I can walk. Sometimes, we get too caught up with only what is beautiful in our facial look. But beauty is beyond our faces and is more than our clothes, social status, career, etc. It is skin deep, meaning we must love our unbroken, unhealed parts. We must be willing to go through the journey to heal the broken, damaged little girl or boy and merge it with the maturing self to become one healthier version. Seek professional when necessary.
Now that It Didn’t Kill Me is out in the world, what impact do you hope your story will have on readers, and what’s next for you on your journey?
I hope that my story will inspire everyone to speak up. For many years, those who are affected by domestic violence have stayed silent due to fear, culture, or social norms. I want people to know that ignoring a problem doesn’t fix it. Instead, it keeps people in bondage, passing down from generation to generation. I would like those abused to know that they have a voice, and their voice is essential, and support is out there. I want you to know that change is initially challenging, but you can do it. I want to close with this: It Didn’t Kill Me and Wouldn’t Kill You. My next step is to bring awareness of domestic abuse worldwide and awareness in the Caribbean culture through speaking engagements and coaching others to heal, and I hope my book will inspire many worldwide. I hope to have an establishment to provide training skills to women in Guyana and the Caribbean so they can find employment and provide for their families after walking away from the domestic violence relationship.
Follow Kerensa Gulliver and purchase It Didn’t Kill Me on Amazon.
Photo Credit: Andrew Faulds
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